Calgon, take me away!

So, yeah, remember that whole idea about choosing to be happy.  Well, I'm failing miserably today.  I don't even entirely know what my problem is, but I do know I'm ridiculously overwhelmed and I just need a break.  I want so badly to just walk away right now.  I want to go on a vacation!  Somewhere fun, with a beach.  I know I've been saying this for years, but always say I'll go next year (in hopes that I would look decent in a bikini again, lol)  Well, I'm coming to the conclusion that the older I get, and have now surpassed 30 and have had a child, it will never happen, so I might as well just suck it up and go.  I want to take Devin to the beach and go to Disneyland and Sea World and amusement parks and fairs and carnivals, I want him to be involved in sports and activities and have fun during the summer!  I want him to get to do all the fun stuff that I never got to do when I was a kid :(  I feel horrible that, as of now, I'm failing as a parent in that respect, and well, pretty much daily I feel like I'm failing in many other areas as well.  I MUST change this!  I'm not sure how right now considering my time constraints and monetary situation, but I have to do *something*  Maybe the Aquarium this summer?  Baby steps, right?