So, I've attempted this blog thing a few times, I've failed, for lack of a better word, each time. I've tried the 101 in 1001 three times. The longest I ever managed to keep it together was for about 10 months :/ So here we are, 2016 is quickly coming to an end and I was once again thinking about starting the 101 in 1001. I decided maybe that wasn't the way I wanted to go because I found myself trying to find things to put on my list of 101 goals, and just picked random goals that really didn't mean much to me. This time I wanted to journal/blog but instead of just trying to accomplish 101 things that didn't really matter much to me I wanted to just blog about me, my life, what matters to me, and focus on a few things that I really want to focus on and make more of a priority in my life.
My son and family is my top priority for sure. However, other than my child and family, there are a few things that I really want to focus on this year, and well, just in general.
1. I really want to focus on fitness and health. Of course I'd love to lose weight, but more than that, I want to be fit and healthy. A couple years ago I went on this journey and lost a little weight but was in the best shape of my life and felt so good. Some things happened and I lost sight of my goals and well...let's just say, I need to get back to where I was and keep going.
2. I want to focus on a hobby that would force me to get out of my comfort zone, yet allow me to learn, and push my limits. I've chosen to focus on photography. I chose this for a few reasons, first, I need to take more pictures, period. I'm kind of embarrassed about how many photos I DON'T have :( My son is 9 and I want to have more pictures to remember these moment by, I've been saying for years that I want to put together a calendar for my family from photos I take during the year. The problem is that I never seem to have good, or enough photos to create a calendar with :( I also purchased a DSLR a couple years ago and I want to learn how to use it better. I look at other peoples photos and I'm just in awe at how amazing they are and would be so proud to be able to say I took an amazing photo like that. I have no illusions that I will be a true photographer, ever, in my lifetime. I just want to be able to focus on something that I can see progress with, and something that I can ultimately be proud of. In order to accomplish this, I have decided to start with the 52 week photography challenge. I'll be posting my photos here each week as well as on Instagram. I just hope that I see an improvement at the end :) This is the challenge I'm going to be starting: https://dogwood.photography/52weekchallenge.html
3. I want to go on a vacation. For the love of all things holy, I want to finally go on vacations! Even if they are staycations...I want to get out. I want to experience life. I've never really went on vacations, I want to travel more. I want to instill this sense of adventure and wonder in my son so he will experience life and not be fearful like I was my entire life. I cannot wait to take you all along on whatever journey I am able to take.
4. I want to read more books. I have said in the past that I hated reading, but really, that's not true. I love to read. I've really rediscovered my love for reading over the past year. But, just like with movies, if I am not immediately grasped by the book I lose interest quickly. That said, I want to read more. I love losing myself in a book.
5. I want to focus on just being a better person. I realize that accomplishing this will be very subjective; but over the past few years I feel like I've been very negative and I haven't been able to even see the good in things. This also goes back to the photos a bit too...to capture the beauty in the world.
I also wanted to kind of go back and update on life from the last posts 6 years ago. I thought about starting a new blog but when I went back and read what I had written before, I felt that it was more fitting to just pick up where I left off with a little bit of an update. Now where do I start with an update? I finished my pre-requsites for nursing school, and had all As. I got an interview at the University of Colorado School of Nursing for their accelerated program. However, I found out on August 1, 2012 that I didn't get accepted. Honestly, it was devastating. It's still devastating to talk about so...I just don't. I have a really really hard time even thinking about the fact that I was just a failure. I failed. This has been kind of a black cloud over me for the last 4.5 years. But, it is what it is, I'm trying to move past it. I won't be discussing it further but I did want to update because I know I had made a few previous posts about my journey. Also, I am still a litigation paralegal despite the fact that I swore I would never go back to a paralegal job...I did. And I still am. I'm currently working for a pretty amazing firm and have gotten some really great experience, but I am feeling quite burnt out, and I am definitely more than ready for the next step. I don't, however, know what that next step/journey will be. Maybe I'll discover it along the way through my blogging. Maybe I won't. But, if I could just come out on the other side and feel some sense of peace, I would consider that to be a success. I am with Roger still. We are technically engaged, though I'm not sure that we'll ever officially get married. I am kind of feeling like this is enough of a commitment for me. Why do anything to rock the boat? I don't want to screw up a good thing :) We purchased a house in 2013. I guess maybe this is the silver lining of not getting into nursing school? Ha. We were very lucky that we were able to do this, especially because the housing market in Denver is out of control insane now. I don't think we could afford to buy now if we hadn't before. Although there are things I hate about this house, I am very thankful. Devin is now 9. NINE. How the heck did that happen? For Christmas he got some "experience" tickets, one for each month, so we'll be going on some adventures this year, and I hope to take you all along :)
So, there you have it...the resurrection of my old blog. And I really, just really hope that I can keep up with this more than just a few months. Especially because I really think it will be awesome to have somewhere to have an outlet for all of the struggles I'm going to have with the goals I've set because let's be real...it's not going to be easy :)
And, can I just say that I had to laugh when I realized the the domain name is for this journal? I had completely forgotten about. I mean I forgot this journal even existed...I started it 6 years ago. I had to laugh, but I love it. The name still suits me perfectly as well. My life is definitely a beautiful disaster :) Thanks for coming along on this journey with me.
Until next time...
Jamie
